Unforgivable
by Lilly K
Summary: While Snape is headmaster of Hogwarts, two seventh years, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, plan to use a fake Cruciatus Curse in Professor Carrow's Dark Arts class that looks like the real thing, but won't cause any pain. Things do not go as planned, their friendship is tested, and both learn something about themself that they have tried to deny.


**Unforgivable**

 **Ch 1. Wincing-Wailing Charm**

Ellie the seventh year Hufflepuff smiled with a contented sigh. She cast the new spell perfectly, even through the horrible screams of the seventh year Slytherin. With another flick of her wand, the screaming stopped, and the tall Slytherin, Adriana, relaxed and smiled too.

"You did it," Adriana looked down at her small companion, "Just like the real thing, isn't it?"

"You're actually brilliant, you know," Ellie said, hugging her friend tight despite the bruises on her chest and shoulders. "I'm so relieved..." she trailed off, looking at the side of the castle, then back at her friend. "But leave it to a true Slytherin to work out a cunning way to bypass some of this evil. Thank you. Thank you _so much!_ "

"Yeah, well we in Slytherin have it easy these days. No one has their eye on us. It's you and the Gryffindors they have it out for." Adriana scowled, "But if they think for a moment we're just going to let them pick on our friends, who we've learned with and grown up with all this time, then they're fools."

"I have to admit, Adriana, I never would have thought of something like this. A fake Cruciatus curse that makes the target twitch and cry out without feeling any pain? It's amazing... my brain just doesn't work that way."

"My dad was a Ravenclaw," Adriana shrugged, "Of course I picked up some of that puzzle solving stuff."

"Puzzle solving?"

"To dad, everything's a puzzle. You just have to look at it the right way."

"So if Hogwarts were a puzzle, and we had to put it back together..." Ellie said, checking the empty corridor again to make sure they were alone, "... I think you know what I was going to say."

Adriana nodded, "That's one puzzle that we shouldn't mess around with. Remember what I said? Lie low, don't draw attention to yourself, but hold your head high, okay? Remember who you are. No one can take that away from you. And stay with me as much as you can between classes. No offense, but you're... so small. You look like you could be a first year."

"I just wish that there was something we could do about it all," Ellie sighed. "But, this is something. At least it's an improvement."

"It fools the Carrows, but I'm not sure it would be safe for you to use in front of the Headmaster. Remember that. It's not foolproof. It's just something to use in a pinch."

"To be honest you had me worried," Ellie tugged at one of her braids, "After class, people talk, and Michael told me all about how you had been casting the Cruciatus Curse like it was nothing to you. It really scared him. You scared a lot of people, Adriana, and a lot of my friends. But I guess this explains a lot... a hell of a lot. I'm sorry I doubted you," Ellie looked down at her shoes, "You're my closest friend, ever since King's Cross, and I'd hate to lose you because I'd been stupid and listened to rumors."

"You'll never lose me, Ellie," Adriana said firmly, "Not after everything we've already been through together. Not after how we've helped each other through so much."

"I'm glad," Ellie said. "But next time, please, tell me right away, okay? You can trust me you know. You don't have to get the spell totally perfect before you tell me about an idea."

Adriana just shrugged. Things worked out alright. This would protect Ellie from the Carrows' beatings, and Ellie even thought better of her for it all. She thought at first of just trying to persuade Ellie to cast the curse, but knew right away that she would not have much chance of success. Her friend was just too kind, too empathetic to inflict that sort of real pain on someone else. But Adriana hadn't been. In two out of three classes they'd had so far on the Cruciatus Curse, Adriana had used the real spell. She had to—well, she thought she had to. She didn't know what would happen if she defied these temperamental new instructors. For all she knew, they might kill a disobedient student in cold magic right there in the classroom to set an example. Truth be told, she still wouldn't put it past them. She was apprehensive about trying the fake curse, but didn't let it show. If any of her worry slipped through, it was probably lost amid her classmates' apprehension in casting the real Cruciatus. Adriana paused, looking out one of the narrow windows in the corridor into the rain outside.

"What's wrong?" Ellie asked, stepping closer. "I didn't upset you, did I? I didn't mean to. The spell's great. It truly is."

"It's not that," Adriana whispered. "I guess... this year has been hard on all of us. I might not let it on, but in my own way, I feel as worn down as you look." Adriana didn't usually realize when she was being indelicate.

Ellie put her hand on the middle of Adriana's back—she couldn't reach her shoulder. "It's okay. You've done a really good thing. We'll teach it to everyone we can, straightaway, and the first years won't have to go through all that suffering. That's something to feel better about, isn't it?"

Adriana continued to stare into the rain. She hadn't cared about the first years. She hadn't even thought about it, really. It was her friend she didn't want to see hurting. It was her ally that she wanted to protect. Teaching the Cruciatus Curse in school would be all well and good, Adriana thought, if it was optional. There were some people that just weren't made for that kind of magic. Some wands that simply refused it. This was a point of observable fact that the Carrow idiots seemed not to bother to acknowledge. "We have to be careful," Adriana finally responded, "We don't want the wrong people to find out what we're doing. Don't go spreading it around, alright?"

"Don't worry, Adriana, I understand," Ellie nodded. "I'll be careful. I'll be safe."

Adriana turned and patted her friend's head, "Good." … What else could she say?

And that was the beginning of how Adriana Heartrey, Slytherin girl, became a thorn in the side of the Carrow regime.

"... And you have to swear not to tell anybody else, okay?" Ellie said to the bloodshot eyed Hufflepuff in a nervous whisper.

"I cross my heart!" They said, running their fingers through their matted brown hair, "Please, I can't take any more of this. I haven't eaten or slept since the lessons started."

"Okay, listen, there's another spell," Ellie told them, "All you have to do is..."

Of course, thought the battered Hufflepuff, it wouldn't do any harm to tell their little sister. She had been worried sick about them. They just wanted her to stop worrying. She couldn't even use it or anything...

And of course, she wasn't content with simply hearing there was an alternative. She had been struggling ever since she heard about Professor Carrow's Cruciatus lessons with the idea that first-years had been the targets of such horrible dark magic. She wouldn't leave her sibling alone until he showed her how to cast it...

And in no time at all, nearly everyone in House Hufflepuff, half of the Gryffindors and a smattering of Ravenclaws were casting Adriana's spell. People began to call it the "Wincing-Wailing Charm."

Meanwhile, Adriana herself was having second thoughts when she entered her next session of Dark Arts class. What if she had only gotten lucky the last time, when she got away with using the fake curse? The Carrows probably hadn't been really paying attention to her that time, since they had seen her cast the torture curse before... but something was different today.

The classroom seemed larger without the long line of first-years cowering against the wall. Adriana wasn't the kind of person to idly hope this meant that they had finally moved on from their Cruciatus lessons to something more suited to the general student aptitude. She hadn't know the Carrows for long, but she knew that they wouldn't stop for complaints from a few of the morally minded, even if they were from influential families. No. There was some other reason the first-years weren't there.

When class had begun, Amycus strolled into the room with a smugger expression than usual and looked down at his students as he descended the staircase. "We've had a few little rough patches, over the past few days, haven't we? Students failing to learn, failing to work as hard as they are able, and despite the clear incentive I have given, some even failing to try. So, dearest students... we are trying something new.

Adriana could see the looks of relief and looked down. She knew they'd soon be disappointed.

"Oh, no, don't misunderstand—it's not a new curse. We won't move on until every one of you has mastered the Cruciatus. It's an essential piece of magic for the mature witch and wizard to master. We are simply trying a new method of learning that I hope will be more effective, and I daresay a bit more interesting than going up against chubby little first years."

Amycus flicked his wand and traced it in a counterclockwise spiral as brightly burning numbers burst into the air above his students. Everyone muttered in surprise.

Adriana reached up and plucked the glowing numeral 1 from just over her head to examine it. It felt warm, but not hot to the touch. Other students soon did the same.

"Ones form a line here," Amycus shot another burst of light from his wand, "And twos stand here, across from them. Hurry up! We don't have all day!"

The students cautiously scrambled into their respective lines.

"Now look across from you," Professor Carrow rasped, "This person standing there is your … learning partner. You understand, I hope. Good. You will take turns casting the curse on each other for one minute intervals. If your one minute interval passes and you have not cast the curse, your partner's interval becomes two minutes. If you fail to cast the curse twice consecutively, that time will double again. Continuing in this pattern, you had better hope to be successful with each cast, or things will become progressively worse for you. If you fail to adhere to the rules of this little exercise, you will find yourself serving detention with me," He smiled with utmost satisfaction.

Adriana sized up her learning partner. He was almost her height, and about three times as wide. There was visible sweat forming along the line where his forehead sprouted thick black curls. "Relax," said Adriana in a toneless voice, "And do your best. I can take it. Alright?"

The wizard shook his head slowly, looking up at her with a strange expression.

"Ones first," shouted Professor Carrow, staring right at Adriana, "And... begin!"

The professor was watching her closely. Looking right at her. She paused a moment. He didn't take his eyes off of her wand. This was less than ideal. She would have to cast the real curse this time.

She emptied her mind of everything but herself and the classmate standing before her. There was no Professor Carrow to critically examine her wandwork. There was no Ellie to tell her what was right and wrong. All that was left was the animal part of the Slytherin witch, eyeing her prey.

"Crucio."

The large seventh year fought back, gasping and clutching himself, falling to his knees, gritting his teeth. Adriana felt a warm glow in her chest, feeding her entire self. She forgot how pleasant it was to cast, how it released so much feeling that she never could show. She watched the Gryffindor boy suffer with a contented look, studying and drinking in each desperate movement he made.

"Time's up. Thirty seconds now, to replenish your magic, before the 2s attempt," Amycus's voice broke Adriana's calm and her grip on her partner's nerves fell away.

His fists clenched and he whispered, "I can't do this. I can't."

"You can," Adriana said firmly, "You can, you hear me? Just think of what I did to you. Think about that and do it to me."

"I don't..." he began, "Want anybody to feel like that. Ever."

"Not even … I don't know... Grindelwald? Someone who deserved it?"

"Putting more pain into the world," he sighed, "Never took any evil out of it."

"Twos, begin!" Professor Carrow called.

"I'm Darius Ironblood," said the boy, "And I've heard of you, you're Adriana Heartrey, the daughter of that diplomat, aren't you?"

"Raise your wand," Adriana commanded. She wondered if Darius was a transfer student, too. She hadn't recalled seeing him before this year.

"No. I don't think I will. Let's just talk."

"Raise your wand and curse me right now," Adriana insisted.

"I've thought of going into ministry diplomacy myself, before."

"You'd be well suited for it, I think," said Adriana, "Now curse me."

"But I decided, now that power has shifted, that the ministry life isn't for me," he gave a weak smile.

"It'll make it a lot easier if you don't think of me as a person with a family you can relate to. Just think of me as a bundle of badly configured nerve endings. A bunch of nerve endings that hurt you."

"Forget it," he shrugged, "I'm failing this class anyway. Might as well fail it with honor."

Adriana's eyes wandered across the room. It seemed as though only a few people in Group 2 were even casting the curse at all. And the members of group 1... oh. So that was the way he'd wanted it. It seemed as though Professor Carrow had put those that had been successfully casting the curse in Group 1, and the rest of the students in Group 2. This wasn't going to end well for Group 2, even if they managed to pick up the curse during this lesson. Gregory Goyle was laughing at the boy across from him, still sobbing even after the pain had stopped. This boy was a perfectly competent wizard. This boy had cast a corporeal patronus, transfigured a perfect Grand Piano, and successfully brewed more than one entry in Most Potente Potions. He was not stupid, nor was his magic weak, he was just... well, Adriana didn't know what to call it. Whatever else he was didn't seem to matter to Gregory.

Professor Carrow smiled wickedly, "That was disappointing. Well, I suppose we'll just forgo the replenishment time, too. Group 1... again."

Piercing cries of anguish.

The professor was looking elsewhere. Adriana made eye contact with Darius, took a sharp breath, and said softly, "Watch my wand closely."

Darius fell to the floor, convulsing and crying and screaming... but he felt no pain. Adriana sank inside. It was all so hollow. What was it even for? Did she really think he could learn her spell just by watching? But then, she knew why she had done it. She had done it because she was indignant at Professor Carrow for singling out wizards that were just as competent as anybody else and making them look like there was something wrong with them, something that made them weak and in need of punishment, when that wasn't true. The Wincing-Wailing charm got a lot more physical reaction out of Darius than the actual Cruciatus had done. He had a respectable pain tolerance.

When those two stomach-churning minutes were over, Darius stood up wide eyed and offered a hand to Adriana to shake. Luckily, Professor Carrow was correcting someone's technique, and Adriana bent his hand back down to his side.

"Are you stupid or something?" she whispered dangerously.

"Sometimes," he chuckled.

"Well try not to be quite so stupid today, if you wouldn't mind."

"I like you. You've got spirit."

"So what if I have?"

"You didn't take the easy way out."

"So what if I didn't?"

When Amycus Carrow glanced at the pair of them again, Darius was giving Adriana a stupid looking glare.

"That better?" he asked.

Gregory Goyle was looking at them now, too.

"It'll be your turn soon," Adriana's lip twitched, "And if you don't want to have a bad time, you'd better give one to me."

Gregory snorted at her, "Don't waste your time on these pious arses. Either they learn their lesson at the tip of your wand, or they never learn at all. And, what's better is, if they never learn at all, then more fun for the rest of us." He looked then at the cowering boy across from him.

"Group 2, give it your best shot."

The boy across from Gregory shouted "Crucio!" and the large Slytherin felt a pinch in his stomach and grimmaced, "Is that all you got, weakling? Heh, almost thought you were too good to cast the curse, but no, you're not a saint, you're just pathetic."

Another shot of "Crucio" hit Gregory in the elbow. When professor Carrow was looking away, Darius imitated the wand movement without casting the spell.

"Hmm. It looks like you're not the only one that's thought about these lessons creatively," Darius said to her, "Look."

To Adriana's shock, she realized that four different Gryffindors in Group 2 all used her wand movement. They were using her spell. That meant it was only a matter of time before the teachers found out, and only a matter of time before Ellie was caught. She had to warn her friend right away. Adriana's hand shot up.

Professor Carrow strode over to her, trying to maintain his air of authority even though he was quite a bit shorter than Adriana. "Miss Heartrey, what is it?"

"Professor Carrow, I wish to be excused from class."

Amycus's eyebrow went up, "You do? … I suppose," he looked her unreadable expression over carefully, "That you have a very good reason for this?"

"I do," she said simply.

"Then you won't be opposed to finishing the lesson later, with myself as your... learning partner, then?"

"I would not be opposed," she replied.

"You wouldn't?" this caught Amycus Carrow by surprise. "… I see. Well in that case, whatever it is, just go. I'll see you this evening, Miss Heartrey, to finish the lesson."

"Uhm... Sir," Darius asked, "What should I do now?"

"Your wandwork is all wrong, Ironblood. Go back to your desk and read the textbook again."

"Yes, professor," Darius nodded, and opened his book.

Professor Carrow soon silenced the erupting murmur of students, "Group 2, all together this time. Let's have it."

Darius took out his notes and textbook and quickly began to doodle, "Today I met a girl in Dark Arts. She tortured me, but was pretty nice. I kind of like her." He covered it in spirals and pictures of birds.

Adriana moved quickly through the Hogwarts hallways. Ellie would be in Muggle Studies right now, taught by the other Carrow. Adriana had made the mistake on her first day of contradicting the teacher with a story her father told her about some time he had spent with muggles. She was sharply reprimanded, and told that the story simply could not possibly be true. Of course, she knew that her father was not a liar, and argued the point. Too late did she realize that this so called professor Alecto Carrow did not care about truth. Alecto would teach what she wanted to teach about Muggles for whatever political reasons she had. This meant that Adriana would have to quash the urge to speak up and correct her teacher's errors all year. This went against everything she had been trained to do by the tutors her father had hired for her when she was young. As Carrows went, Amycus was a fool, and Alecto was an irritant. Adriana knew which class she preferred between the two they taught, and it wasn't Muggle Lies. Consequently, even though she was in Slytherin and kept mostly quiet, Alecto Carrow did not like Adriana.

When Adriana opened the door to her classroom while she was teaching, Alecto liked her even less. "How DARE you interrupt my lesson, Heartrey. Explain yourself," Professor Carrow hissed.

"Pardon the interruption, Professor. I request that you please excuse miss Bishop for a few moments. I must speak with her urgently."

"I shall do no such thing. Detention with me, for both of you, tonight. Now get out of my classroom."

"Forgive me, Professor. I'll wait outside, then." Adriana stepped out and stood facing the doorway. Professor Carrow slammed the door with a flick of her wand, but Adriana stayed still.

Ellie fidgeted with the corner of her parchment. She had been trying to lie low. She had been doing her best. Adriana usually had smart advice, but she wasn't always great at following it herself. The Wincing-Wailing Charm had worked fine, and she was grateful for that, but she was very worried now. What could be bothering Adriana so much that she would risk getting them both in trouble?

Ellie felt something rough slithering into her shoe. When the Professor wasn't looking, she pulled it out with her forefinger and thumb. It was a small piece of paper. Ellie unrolled it and read, "We've been compromised. Do not use what we discussed yesterday in class. Speak with me as soon as it is convenient to do so without drawing attention to our conversation."

Dark Arts was next after Muggle Studies for Ellie, and it still took her most of the passing period to get from place to place in Hogwarts. Had Adriana been caught using the fake curse? Ellie didn't think even Adriana could weasel her way out of that situation. If she had been caught in Dark Arts, though, Amycus Carrow was more likely to make an example of her as a target than to kick her out of class. Ellie ripped the paper up into tiny pieces nervously and dropped them on her desk. The minutes of Muggle Studies dragged on.

When Ellie was finally free, she was the first to the door. She and Adriana immediately and wordlessly started walking quickly down the hall.

When they had walked up three sets of stairs, Ellie could take the silence no longer. "What is it, Adriana? What happened?"

"People were using it in my class. Gryffindors. Lots of them."

"Lots? But that's impossible." The boy Ellie told was a Hufflepuff, and he swore not to tell... oh no.

"No, just so improbable I can hardly believe this is the outcome."

"I told someone!" Ellie blurted out. She didn't know how else to tell Adriana, "I'm so sorry."

"Oh," said Adriana. "That would adjust the probability quite a lot. This makes more sense."

"You're not angry?" Ellie's muscles tensed.

"No. I have to adjust my mental model of you and how you make choices, but I'm not mad."

Ellie looked like she was going to cry, "I didn't mean to tell anyone, I wasn't going to. There was just a friend from my house—they hadn't been eating or sleeping. They looked horrible, Adriana. I couldn't live with it. I had to help them. Even if I can't fix anything else, I thought, I could fix things for them."

"You should try not to let your empathy control you like that," Adriana said matter of factly, "If you want to do what's best for others, take the time to think things through. Follow the consequences to their projected conclusion, don't just see what you want to happen—think about what will happen. If you and I got away with using the fake curse, we could spare a couple of people a lot of pain. If half of the school starts casting the fake curse, which is already happening, someone WILL get caught. When that happens, we're going to ALL see how nasty Professor Carrow can be, and you can bet it'll be much worse for everyone."

"Oh no!" Ellie hugged Adriana, "If they trace it back to you, you could be … I don't want to think about it," she gulped.

"I do not think they will trace it to me," Adriana said, "After all, I ..." She almost admitted to Ellie that she had been casting the Cruciatus Curse, and that if Amycus questioned her, she could simply use that to quash any suspicion. That would have been a real mistake. "Am a Slytherin with a perfect grade in the class, and they're too stupid to realize my motive."

"Your... motive?" A shadowy figure appeared behind them. Ellie jumped.

"Oh... Good afternoon, Headmaster," said Adriana. "Pardon me. I could not see you there."

"Spare me your pleasantries, Heartrey... My, my... Two seventh year students... Plotting in the hallways." He smiled thinly, gaze shifting from the tall Slytherin to the short blonde Hufflepuff. "How delightful. I suppose I shall have to tell your teachers to assign more work for you, to keep the two of you... out... of trouble."

Ellie laughed nervously. Adriana clutched her shoulder, "Headmaster," she curtsied deeply, and glided away with the Hufflepuff tight in her grip.

"Have I told you yet," exhaled Ellie, "that you're amazing? Taking that penetrating gaze of his like that, without flinching, even trying to keep his focus away from me. I know that's what you were doing."

Adriana nodded, "I used to actually like Snape when he was just our potions master and head of house... but ever since he got the Dark Arts job, he's changed. He's tried to appear the same, but he isn't. He seems a lot more dangerous."

"Honestly," said Ellie, looking down the hall past Adriana, "I never found him pleasant."

"I think that sticking close to me is not a good idea after all, at least for right now. There is a chance, however small, that things will go bad with me."

"No, I wouldn't abandon you like that!" Ellie clutched Adriana's sleeve, "You're my best friend!"

"You won't be abandoning me. We'll still be best friends. I'm just telling you that being seen with me might not help you now like I said before. You'll need to walk by yourself or find someone else to protect you from bullies for a few days. You'll be alright. I'm still doing what's best for you. And..." Adriana bit her lip, "Please, for me, try casting the real Cruciatus. Just try. Just for one class. If you do that, I know you'll be safe. If you do that, I'll feel much better."

Ellie raised her eyebrow, "I've known you for almost five years now, Adriana. I know when you're faking emotion."

"I'm just trying to make up for lost ground," she muttered.

Ellie gave a dry chuckle. "I suppose telling you not to worry about me wouldn't stop you, would it?"

"Of course not, that would just be stupid."

" _That's_ the Adriana I know," Ellie patted her back.

After walking Ellie to potions, Adriana made her way to Transfiguration. She thought about telling Professor McGonnagal everything and hoping that she could work out some sort of solution. The Transfiguration teacher had helped them in their third year when Ellie was trying to find out more about who her real parents were. All Adriana could think of right now was, "Memory charm the whole student body," and that idea was totally impractical.

And there, coming down the stairs toward her, was that Gryffindor from Dark Arts class. Exactly what she didn't need just then.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Eloquent," she folded her arms, "The true words of a diplomat."

"I wanna talk," he said earnestly.

"It seems we have a conflict of interests, then."

"I'm sorry you have to do Torture Practice with Carrow."

"It was a calculated trade-off. I'm resigned to it."

"Oh really? Come on, you must be a little scared."

"Scared? No. I'm in for some very bad pain. That's unavoidable, given the circumstances, but I did what I had to."

"What you had to?"

"This isn't helping."

"Sorry. Uhm... well I suppose I just wanted to say, thanks. Thanks for not wanting to hurt me. You're not a bad person, you know. For a Slytherin."

"I was wrong. You'd be a horrible diplomat."

"Oh, lighten up. I was just joking. I don't profile people like that. But coming up with that spell on the spot, just because I was talking to you... that's a level of creativity I've never seen before. Has anyone told you you're brilliant?"

"Every day," Adriana muttered.

"But I wasn't sweating, you know, because you were going to hurt me. I was sweating because I was supposed to hurt you. So you didn't have to leave class for my sake. I'll be alright next time even if Carrow is watching and you have to use the real curse..." he mumbled, "I hope."

Oh... This stupid boy thought that this was about him. How... uhm, well Adriana didn't have a word for it at the moment.

"Don't worry about it. I'll hurt you more next time, if that's what you want."

"You're really a strange girl," he said, staring at her and popping a lollipop into his mouth.

"You seem to enjoy stating the obvious. But this has been about as pleasant as kissing a venomous tentacula. "

"Huh. When I practice for future dates, I like to use mandrakes instead. It's a bit safer," he shrugged, still smiling, and kept walking as Adriana entered the Transfiguration classroom.

Well, he had succeeded in distracting Adriana briefly with _that_ comment. She almost bumped into her desk. What a strange boy.

Professor McGonnagal looked tired. Adriana decided to put her Dark Arts problem away and focus on the wand movements for transfiguring the hairs on her arm into a thick black fur. She wasn't picking it up very well.

"Three loops left, then the four stroke wave we learned last week. It all has to be done at a steadily increasing speed. Enunciate those third and fifth syllables. Work on it a bit more, won't you?" Said the Professor. Adriana nodded before McGonnagal hovered over to the adjacent student.

Adriana had not managed to thicken her hair at all by the time class was over. That frustrated her.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," said Daphne, who had only got it to work a little, "It's just one spell. Everybody has trouble with a spell sometimes."

Adriana nodded appreciatively. As they were leaving class, Malfoy approached her. Just great, she thought, more conversations she didn't need.

"So Goyle tells me that you left Dark Arts early today, Heartrey. What exactly was that all about?" He asked in the sort of voice that tried to make you feel like he already knew.

"If you'd really like to know, I'll tell you," Adriana said, looking around the emptying classroom. Just... you. Not Goyle or anyone else, and not here, and not now. Satisfied?"

"Alright. Then when?"

"I must make up my lesson this evening with Professor Carrow, and the other Professor Carrow gave me detention. It's going to be a long day, but when I get back to the commonroom after that we can discuss it all."

"You got detention from Alecto? … You? Miss manners? What the devil for?"

"I'll tell you."

"Fine," he said, raising his eyebrows, "I'll see you tonight."

Adriana took a deep breath before heading back to the Dark Arts classroom, hoping not to have any more random encounters. She might be able to use the talk with Malfoy to her advantage, but she wouldn't have time to send a message to Ellie. She just had to rely on the thought that Ellie could be strong and independent for a while. She had been that way sometimes, when she had to be. The thought occurred to Adriana that without her influence on Ellie's life, perhaps Ellie would have been much stronger... but she needed Ellie to keep her on the right path. It was only practical, and yet letting Ellie in for that reason had allowed Adriana to become quite attached to her friend. So much so that it changed her motivations unpredictably. It was a strange experience, but not an unpleasant one, to have someone you would do stupid things for. She understood a bit better now why other people did that.

The classroom was mostly dark when Adriana entered, but for a few candles on Professor Carrow's desk. When she arrived, he stood up from his paperwork, and the candles flashed to a larger flame.

"Miss Heartrey, I won't pretend to know why you so urgently needed to exit my classroom earlier today, but frankly, I don't care," he said, eyes trained on her like a stumpy little hawk. "It was gutsy, and more than a little arrogant of you, I think. But it doesn't matter. What matters is, now, here we are. And I have been _itching_ to be able to look at your technique more closely. You're quite the puzzle, Miss Heartrey."

An adjacent door opened, and Alecto stepped into the room, looking slightly put out.

"And when I heard that my sister had given you detention, I thought to combine our time together. I thought you might like the efficiency," he snickered a little at himself. Adriana and Alecto did not laugh.

"The Cruciatus Curse, as you have no doubt learned by now, is a spell that can only be used effectively with a certain passion. And this, Heartrey, is what puzzles me. Your face when you cast the spell is so... stoic. So void. And yet I can tell by looking into the eyes of your victims that they are certainly experiencing a good portion of what the torture curse has to offer. I had hoped to gain some insight when your partner cast the curse upon you, unfortunately that did not happen today."

"Professor," Adriana spoke as he paused, "May I speak?"

"There's something you wish to tell me? Feel free."

"I think that learning the Cruciatus Curse should be optional. Some witches and wizards just don't have … whatever it is that makes us able to do it. It's not that they're bad at magic, it's just this kind of magic takes more than wandwork and power. I'm not complaining about the lessons, I actually have rather liked them. I'm just expressing what I have observed."

Alecto and Amycus laughed in unison, "You're not seeing the big picture," Amycus replied, "It wouldn't matter if not everyone could learn the Cruciatus Curse, miss Heartrey, because the lesson is that those who _can_ are at an advantage. An advantage in the classroom, and an advantage out there in the real world. But I must also disagree with your silly idea that not everyone can learn the curse. Maybe some of these green young witches and wizards can't cast the Cruciatus yet, but there comes a point in life, for everyone, when it becomes easy. Take my word. And in class, pitting people against each other, I am just helping some of the students with lesser aptitudes reach that point a bit sooner. Three more students made first attempts at casting it today, and tomorrow I predict there will be at least five more.

Adriana hadn't thought about it like that. Amycus could see the comprehension as it appeared on her face. For a moment of irrationality, Adriana contemplated confessing to Amycus her creation of the Wincing-Wailing Charm, but she kept silent.

"So you see then. And your little Hufflepuff friend, the one with the messy braids, the one that you left my class to speak with... Oh, yes, my sister and I do talk, you know," he smiled. "Well, she attempted the curse for the first time today. She didn't get it right, but she finally tried. That was your doing, wasn't it? No, don't tell me why, I enjoy a good puzzle. I confess, it's been a long time since anyone has piqued my curiosity like you have. I might actually enjoy this teaching job."

"That would make one of us," Alecto growled.

Adriana was very uncomfortable now. They had connected her departure from class with both Ellie and the Cruciatus Curse. This was bad, but as usual, she refused to let her discomfort show.

"Well my sister here, as you can see," Amycus gestured, "Has ever so kindly volunteered to help me see what makes you tick."

With a flick of his wrist, Alecto raised her wand and screamed, "CRUCIO!"

The torture curse felt every bit as horrible as it had been described, and then some intangible excess that couldn't be put into words in any language Adriana knew. It was like little fragments of her spine splintered off and whizzed like a tornado through her body, shredding her organs inside as the sensation of being stabbed with a burning blade rippled over every surface of her skin... and when it was all over, Adriana opened her eyes, "Interesting," she muttered. "So that's what it's like."

Alecto looked indignant, "I hit her... with everything that I had! I've grown soft around these kids, Amycus!"

"It's not that," he said, admiring Adriana's face, stepping closer, "It's her. She IS a strange one... CRUCIO!"

It happened again. All of it. It went on longer this time, and the flavor was different. Instead of a bone tornado, Amycus's curse felt like drowning in pressurized acid. It was the most horrible sensation that Adriana had ever felt in her life.

And then that, too, was gone.

She looked up at Amycus, and asked, "Did you find anything out?"

Alecto looked at her brother with shock, and at Adriana with revulsion.

"What do you feel when you experience the curse, Miss Heartrey?" Amycus asked evenly.

"Pain. Like I had never before imagined," she said, "And both of yours feel different. But professor, why are you asking me this? Surely you knew what I would say, didn't you?"

"Truthfully, I wasn't sure. You're calm, Miss Heartrey. Far too calm. To face the curse as you describe it and then casually inquire if I discovered anything... it frankly seems inhuman."

"I wonder," Adriana said in a whisper.

"What was that?"

"I said I wonder... I mean, I wonder if I might try something. You do plan to let me practice?"

"Of course," Amycus offered, "you may target my dear sister Professor Carrow when you are ready."

Adriana nodded, and drew her wand. "Crucio," she spoke softly.

Alecto Carrow felt her body folding in on itself. She felt her eyes melting into her skull, marrow pushing out against the surface of all of her bones, and blood tearing her vessels open inside her. By the time that Adriana was finished, Alecto was shaking on the floor. She pulled her robes tight about her and got up quickly.

"Oh, come on, Amycus!" she shouted, "This is ridiculous,"

"What did you feel?" Adriana asked her.

"You little bitch!" Alecto strode up to her, managing to look fearsome even from the perspective of someone taller than she was. "You dare ask me... what did I feel?"

"What did you feel, Alecto?" her brother asked with a smirk.

Alecto folded her arms, "I felt... something I've never felt before."

"Then it worked," Adriana nodded, "It doesn't mention that part in the textbook. Fascinating. Thank you."

"Hmph!" Alecto stormed off and slammed the classroom door behind her.

Amycus winked, "She's the type that takes a bit of time to warm up to other people."

Adriana could hardly picture Alecto Carrow warming up to anyone, but she was certainly reconsidering her initial assessment of Amycus. Perhaps he wasn't the fool she thought he was. Perhaps she had wrongly estimated his motivations, too.

"I wish she would have stayed," Adriana continued, "I had one more thing I wanted to try with you watching, and with someone experienced in these matters on the receiving end of the curse to discuss the experimental result with. I don't suppose there any other teachers who would be willing?"

"Perhaps I know of someone," said Professor Carrow, "I can speak with them and try to arrange something if you'd like."

What would Ellie say, if she could see Adriana now? It wouldn't be anything good. Torturing people voluntarily, for the sake of academic curiosity, wasn't something that good people like Ellie would approve of. She hadn't even approved of Adriana torturing others as a product of necessity. However impractical that view seemed to Adriana, she knew that ignoring Ellie regarding these kinds of issues lead to very big problems.

"I have just realized … it may be unwise," said Adriana, "to get on the bad side of yet another Hogwarts professor."

"It may be," said Amycus, looking at her critically, "But there is still time enough before the holidays. I will see what I can do that will be both instructive and prevent damage to your reputation with your teachers."

"Thank you, sir." … what else could she say?

"Well, what are we waiting for, it's not a lesson if we're only standing here talking! Let's have at it."

Adriana Heartrey spent the next half hour torturing and being tortured by Amycus Carrow. It consisted of thirty of the most captivating, alluring, and terrible minutes of her life.

Professor Carrow behaved unpredictably, too. Just when Adriana thought she had seen everything, he burst into a spontaneous fit of laughter that lasted almost a full minute. She almost asked if he needed to stop, but she didn't think this new mental model of Professor Carrow that she was forming would allow a schoolgirl to drive him mad with torture curses. The lesson resumed as normal soon enough. When it was over, there was still time for the two of them to catch a late dinner in the great hall. Adriana was just picking up her things when the door magically slammed shut in front of her.

"I like to be dramatic sometimes," said Amycus, "So I waited until the end of our little session to let you know I've worked it out." He was smiling with his whole face now. It was rather eerie.

"Worked out why my face is blank when I'm tortured?"

"No, that's still a bit of an enigma. I meant why you wanted to leave my class. You see, I had noticed a few of my students casting another spell—not the one that I had taught them, but something that would look like it to a less astute observer. I noticed at first simply that something was off. I asked a good friend who happens to be a practiced legilimens to come and observe my classes while keeping out of sight. He confirmed what I had conjectured—that they were casting something the students referred to as the "Wincing-Wailing Charm."

"Oh yes?" asked Adriana stiffly, "How intriguing. What does this have to do with me leaving class?"

Amycus glowed with pride, "Evvvverything!" He circled Adriana now. She kept still. "I didn't put the pieces together before, but it's amazing how much you can learn about a person when you torture them, even when they give you so little reaction. But the key—it _is exactly_ how little reaction you give!"

Adriana was confused. She didn't think torturing people for information worked unless you actually asked them questions. When Adriana was tortured by the Cruciatus, it was like she was in another world. She could neither see nor hear, she could only feel. She couldn't have been speaking subconsciously when it happened. That didn't fit with what Professor Carrow had said.

"You, my dear student... need to learn to let go," Amycus looked at her with something like pity.

"Let go?" Adriana asked. "I see your pieces, professor, but now I am puzzled. Excuse me, but what in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

"You might not work out on your own how I have solved this," he admitted, "I have some extra pieces I have not and will not share with you for private reasons."

This made Adriana itch with curiosity. She would have told him to just get to the point already if he wasn't a professor. He really did like to be dramatic.

"Let me know how much of this that I have right about you. You are a sociopath, and a sadist, but you're trying hard to be a good person because you're afraid of what will happen to you if you are not. You are obsessed with controlling yourself. Suppressing expressions, emotions, desires..."

Adriana would never have put it in those words, but the professor wasn't exactly wrong.

"You are friends with Miss Bishop because you believe her to have a strong moral compass and more common sense than most of your classmates, and you've overcome some trials together. You think that having her around will keep you from doing something stupid that you will regret and will ultimately lead to your downfall. Is that about it?"

"Yes," it was true, she supposed. But was that really all there was to it? It felt like there was something Professor Carrow had missed, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"And you tried to protect Miss Bishop by creating that Wincing-Wailing Charm, but when you realized that she couldn't keep it secret, you panicked. You had to leave right away to have time to convince her to use the Cruciatus Curse, something you did not think she would do, for her safety today in my class."

"I admit only to creating the spell," said Adriana, "I did not tell Ellie that she should use it in class rather than the Cruciatus Curse—and she never did use it in class. I did not intend for anyone other than the two of us to even know about it. And you can verify all of this under Veritaserum, if you find that necessary."

"Child," said Amycus Carrow, "This won't be what you're expecting to hear, and it may not be what you want to hear, either, but you can't live like this for the rest of your life. Trying to be someone you are not... never works."

"It is literally impossible to be someone you are not, Professor. The parts of me that you do not approve of are also parts of who I am. I may change much throughout my lifetime, or only a little, but I will never not be myself."

"But you will be unhappy," said Amycus, "Unless you can let go. Of your inhibitions. Of your fears. Of Elaine Bishop."

Happy? What did that even matter? Professor Carrow shouldn't care whether or not she was happy, he was the Dark Arts teacher. Other teachers had expressed concern throughout the years, such as McGonnagal and Slughorn and the former Headmaster Dumbledore, but to hear it from a Carrow was... strange. Her parents didn't think anything was wrong with her. Her parents treated her like she was her own person who was free to make her own choices, not some broken doll.

"What is my punishment, Professor?" Adriana asked.

"I think I can come up with something to fit the offense," he said quietly, "But I will give you time to solve this puzzle on your own. If, before the end of the week, you can find a way to get students to stop using the charm, I will not punish you."

Adriana nodded. It was Tuesday. She had five days. "Thank you for the opportunity, Professor. I will do what I can."

"Of course you will. Now, go have supper, before it's all put away." Amycus sat back down at his desk, scribbling a note.

"Good evening," she bowed, and stepped out.


End file.
